Today was the sixteenth time in less than three years that I handed Nathaniel to an anesthesiologist for a surgery or medical procedure. That does not count illnesses and lab work. Despite the outward appearance of resiliency and well-being, the chronic need for medical intervention is taking a toll on Nathaniel's body. We are in Ohio for two days of appointments at Cincinnati Children's. Nathaniel was seen by four surgeons in the operating room this afternoon. As a side note, I really like it when doctors play well together and coordinate care; if handled differently, what was done today could have required four separate visits and four more handing overs to be sedated. Thank you Cincinnati Children's!

In 2009 we added a six hundred square foot addition on our home. Rich's mother had just passed away and while neither of us had strong opinions on having our parents live with us, neither of us wanted his father grieving alone. We offered space and assisted living type support in our home. Grandpa accepted.

Working on Grandpa's new room was all our family did that summer. A son moved back from Florida to participate in the construction. A future son-in-law proved his loyalty with long days of concrete work. Our then ten-, fourteen-, fifteen-, and sixteen-year-old sons grew up quickly. We swung sledgehammers, lifted walls, reached for roof trusses, set windows, ran electrical lines and hung drywall. It was a labor of love and changed us. As a family and individuals. The construction project set pieces of Grandpa's heart right again as he was drawn out of his grief and into meaningful work and something bigger than than himself - the power of a family working together.

This weekend marks five years that Rich's father has lived with us. We considered waiting to adopt until our season of assisting Grandpa was over. Caring for an aging parent in your home is a unique challenge that only those in the trenches can fully understand. Accepting additional responsibility through adoption seemed... let's be honest... risky? Or extreme? Or radical? At the very least - hard. One of my struggles while taking the foster and adoption classes was the long mental list of the sacrifices I've already made for the sake of elderly care. "Surely God, you don't expect me to take in a child when I'm already giving so much?"

We are starting our fifth year caring for my husband’s father in our home. It has been a very rewarding experience that has enriched our lives tremendously. The last four years haven’t been conflict free though, and I’ve learned a lot through the process of sharing my home with an in-law. Perhaps these three lessons will encourage other families in a similar living arrangement.

Resentment stirs as soon as I enter the kitchen.  Most mornings, I hurry to get his juice, banana, and coffee to the table before he comes out his room.  Setting it out before an empty chair seems like I am less a servant, and oddly, easier.  Today, I am late.