When we decided to homeschool this year, I did not want every piece of our day to be remedial and fixing weaknesses. I wanted to do something that built on Nathaniel's strengths and things we enjoy. His receptive language skills are fantastic. He loves stories. He loves being outside. This intersection is where I am building some fun learning into our day.

"Backyard Visitors" is the name I am giving to our nature study. We are learning about one animal a month through children's literature, crafts, and time outdoors. We are working on core AAC vocabulary. The first critter that we learned about was the firefly.

When I googled "camping with a tracheostomy" last week, I mostly found short lists of summer camps that accept medically complex children. A few forums suggested using an RV for traveling and camping experiences with a trach kiddo. We rented a large RV in 2008 and took five children to the Devil's Tower, Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone, and the Grand Tetons. I can easily imagine how convenient it would be to "RV camp" with Nathaniel. Except we do not own an RV; we own a tent.

"What if adopting Nathaniel means you can no longer do the things you enjoy doing as a family or individually?" asked the adoption case manager during our staffing interview.

Rich has just finished explaining his and our older boys' involvement in Boy Scouts of America, including the three backpacking trips to Philmont High Adventure Camp. There were fourteen individuals sitting around the table participating in our interview. They had interviewed other couples before us. They were charged with the task of selecting Nathaniel's forever family. Prior to this question, they had described Nathaniel's medical conditions and the many concerns physicians had for his future. The adoption case manager had explained that it was uncertain if Nathaniel would ever walk. "What if he can't hike and go backpacking with you?" the she pushed Rich a bit more. Nathaniel took his first steps nine months later, just a few months after we finalized his adoption.

Nathaniel and I have been lazy all morning. Actually, we've been lazy all week. He was released from the hospital Monday, but it was not until Thursday night that I felt we were on top of his frequent vomiting. Wednesday night was rough. Concerned he was spiraling down toward dehydration again, I messaged our house church (small group at church) and pastors to pray. Slowly over the course of the day, he improved. He felt well enough to join his big brother, Peter, in a hammock outside on Thursday afternoon. Peter will be working in Alaska this summer as a supervisor at a Boy Scout camp. The hammock is newly purchased to take with him. I think the quiet afternoon will be a special memory for both of them.

We are having fun with a snow today! We had a little dusting about a week ago, but today was our first playable snow. This homeschool mom does not allow snow days. I save them up for spring fever days - those first days of spring that are so beautiful one can not possibly stay indoors and do school. So after my normal morning meeting with Josiah, Nathaniel and I headed outdoors.

Nathaniel first insisted on exploring the snow mittenless. That, and our entire outdoor experience, last less than two minutes. That smile faded quickly into many tears. We found a different pair of mittens that he seemed to like better than the first I tried, and went out again. The experience went much better the second time. 

Three years ago tonight another woman held Nathaniel warm and secure in her body sheltered from the encroaching world. I don't know when her labor pains started or who drove her to the hospital. I don't know how many needle sticks it took to start her IV or what type of pain reliever she had. I do know that three years ago tomorrow morning, the doctors delivered a baby boy from her womb and she heard no cry.

I can not believe it has been two weeks since Nathaniel and I returned from Cincinnati. One reason is that within a couple days of getting back, I learned the dates of when we go again. It seems my life is now categorized under two labels: "Has to be done before Cincinnati" and "Can wait until after Cincinnati." By mid-November we will have been there three times in three months. It does not leave much room for the "Has to be done before Cincinnati" things.

We had our first snow today!

All morning I wanted to get Nathaniel outdoors, but it wasn't until after his nap that it happened. When adding the second layer it occurred to me that I didn't know if the trach goes in the coat or stays out? Do I zip the coat tight to his chin? In the end, I zipped and went out. Just keeping the hat and mittens and boots on was challenge enough. (Snow pants? Didn't I buy those last fall? Where did they go?)