I know it has been a long time since I posted on the blog when I can not remember my log in password. I have many topics for blog posts floating around in my head; I haven't made writing a priority this last month.

I am going to ease back into blogging. Nathaniel and I participated in a week long challenge to share photos that represent the hash tag #seemeseemyaac. The goal of the Facebook campaign was to bring awareness of alternative and augmented communication. People participated from all over the world. Pretty cool. Here are our photos and the snippets of information I shared with each photo about our AAC efforts.

I am learning a multitude of ways not to teach and help Nathaniel. I wrote a lengthy blog post in September about starting to memorize bible verses with him. Seven months later, I have learned that approach did not work. Or perhaps it is better stated that in recent months my goals have changed, and so my approach needs to change too. If this topic is new to you, click on the link above to learn where we started.

I made a new AAC friend last month. Dr. Carole Zangari, who blogs at PrACCtical AAC, and I spent a few hours on the phone getting to know each other and discussing her recently published book, Tell Me AAC in the Preschool Classroom.  I have been desperate for direction for Nathaniel's education, and the program developed by Dr. Zangari and Lori Wise seemed promising. I have been studying the material daily since that conversation, and recently watched her webinar given through Saltillo. Dr. Zangari and I had a second phone meeting yesterday morning. At one point in our hour and a half conversation, I had to get up from the table and pace the living room floor; the excitement brewing inside needed a physical release.

I shared on my personal Facebook wall that we received our first rejection notice from a private Christian school for Nathaniel’s enrollment next fall. Someone commented, “I get how the school could make that determination. If they don't have a special education program with self-contained classrooms, then Nathaniel would have to be placed in a regular classroom. His medical needs and communication would most likely create classroom management issues.” The school’s reason "Our methodologies do not allow for a child to have a disability in the area of communication,” was the first hard blow of the day. The comment was a second and harder blow.

I knew as I walked out of the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit in November that Nathaniel would recover from the acute illness requiring swift intervention. His body was already responding to the IV fluids. However, I also knew that my heart will never recover. There is no ointment or medicine or surgery that can fix how it breaks when I have to pin Nathaniel’s little body to an emergency room gurney and hear him plead with his voiceless screams and beg with his searching eyes for the procedures to stop.

Original Post: October 2014. Updated: October 2015, October 2016

I think a lot about how to help Nathaniel understand and engage with the world and how to help the world understand Nathaniel. In this light, Halloween has been troubling me.

How does a child who can not speak and does not eat participate in Halloween?

We could skip it. There are many Christian homeschool families who avoid the holiday all together. We did at one point in our child rearing. In recent years Halloween has provided an excuse to spend time with our friends, Dan and Kelly and their seven children. October 31, 2013, Nathaniel's first Halloween, was a cold and rainy week night. After enjoying soup with our friends, we brought him home and missed the door to door part of the evening.  In 2014, we celebrated Halloween with Nathaniel's foster family. We visited a few homes and went home early again.

In the middle of setting up our camping trip on Saturday, I received an email that rocked our world - Nathaniel's communication app was released for iPhone and we were invited to be beta testers.

In the time it takes to brown hamburger and open cans of beans to make chili, the app downloaded and I synced Nathaniel's vocabulary from a recent Dropbox backup. On the next trip carrying things outside, I sat down next to Nathaniel on the retaining wall from where he was watching his brothers cut wood. I handed him my phone with Speak for Yourself open. Inquisitively, he grabbed it, stared at the home screen for a minute, and then said "CHAINSAW."

For the last three months, Nathaniel has benefited from a very brief time of rote drill or recitation with me every morning. Using his talker, we count to ten, say the ABC's, and practice questions and appropriate responses. For example, I will ask, "What is your name?" to which he selects the one button on his device to respond, "My name is Nathaniel." Drawing on this skill yesterday when we were at a Labor Day picnic, he introduced himself to new friends. Within the last month he has shared his name with strangers at a playground. I do not believe these small social steps would be taking place if we were not working daily to recite.

Just as young children frequently memorize nursery rhythms and songs through repetition, the preschool years are often the time when children raised in Christian homes begin to learn their first Bible verses. Spiritual growth is as important to us as Nathaniel's emotional, physical, cognitive, and social growth. For generations of Rankins, the tool to encourage spiritual growth has been memorizing Bible verses. As a child and young adult, my husband memorized Bible verses weekly using Bible Memory Association, now called Scripture Memory Fellowship. Our children memorized Bible verses weekly through participating in the AWANA program. When they were small, we memorized the Sermon on the Mount as a family. We used motions, not American Sign Language, but our own creative fine and gross motor movements to help with the memorizing. The children were three years old to eleven years old when we recited the chapters of Matthew as a family standing in front of our church congregation. I have sweet memories not only of their incredible ability to learn and share long passages of scripture, but of working together daily after breakfast on the verses. The discipline of daily scripture memorization was formative to the children's minds and characters; the words they memorized had value to their souls.

We meet with our AAC team Wednesday afternoon for one of our quarterly consultations. It will be a transitional meeting for Nathaniel as his weekly speech therapist is anticipating a new baby soon. Nathaniel and Miss Rebecca had their last "before baby comes" session yesterday. (Many blessings to you and your little one, Rebecca!) Our therapy plans for the fall include continuing in Development Language Group two mornings a week and private therapy (Occupational and Speech) one morning a week.

As I prepare for our AAC meeting, I am again shuffling papers, making lists, and thinking about goals I have for Nathaniel's language growth. I reflect on times Nathaniel experiences communication frustrated as that often indicates areas that need solutions and work. This document, Language Functions & Early Generative Language Production by Gail M. Van Tatenhove, PA, MS, CCC-SLP, was given to me very early on in Nathaniel's AAC journey. It continues to be a help when I prepare for our AAC meetings. I revisited Tatenhove's word lists and compared the list to open words on Nathaniel's device. I have created a list of words that I feel we need to work on learning.