It is four forty-five in the morning and I am sitting on the floor just inside my bedroom door. It is open. Nathaniel is freshly back to sleep in the living room portion of our hotel suite. The pulse oximeter is delicately balanced on the TV stand so I can see it above the chair pushed hard against the couch. The patient side wire goes one way to Nathaniel's foot and the electrical cord goes to an outlet on the opposite side of the room. Together with other machine cords, room air and oxygen lines, there is a labyrinth of wires that would challenge even CatWoman. The alarm sounds, and I divert my gaze from laptop to machine as I set down the one and move towards the other. Oxygen level: 84%. I silence the alarm. 85% 86% 88% It rises slowly with every flash. Nathaniel's central sleep apnea. 89% 90% 90% 91% I pull a flashlight out of my pocket and check his color. He looks cozy and comfortable, lips pink, chest rising and falling rhythmically. I lightly squeeze a finger. Capillary nail refill is good. 91% 91% 99% That finger squeeze always works. I return to my computer desperate for awake time that is not entangled with hands-on care giving. If you are reading this on Monday morning, you will know I found that time.

Emily and I switched shifts around three this morning (Thursday) and Nathaniel looked peaceful. He repositioned frequently through the night, but over all had a more restful sleep than he had on Wednesday. Which is good. Wednesday night was rough. Nathaniel was awake from 11:30 Wednesday night until 4:30 Thursday morning. He napped lightly in my arms through that time, if he slept at all. I assume it was due to discomfort and pain despite giving him as much pain medication as I could. I am relieved his Thursday night went better. Thank you Team Nathaniel for the supportive response to my Facebook post requesting prayer for sleep.