All tagged Faith

We Prayed for a Safer Airway; God Answered Yes

After Nathaniel's Laryngotracheal Separation in February, our Cincinnati ENT told us that Nathaniel's new breathing stoma was big enough that we could stand across the room, throw the trach tube, and get it in. We all laughed. That is an impossibility of course, but we now know that with Nathaniel in the back seat, a six foot one inch lanky Daddy can get the tube in from the front seat.

A few people have asked me why Nathaniel's airway is safer - how did surgery provide that? Before we got home, Rich and I had started discussing what was different from previous accidents. There were multiple things working together.

May Cincinnati Trip: Fixing the Broken Things

Today was the sixteenth time in less than three years that I handed Nathaniel to an anesthesiologist for a surgery or medical procedure. That does not count illnesses and lab work. Despite the outward appearance of resiliency and well-being, the chronic need for medical intervention is taking a toll on Nathaniel's body. We are in Ohio for two days of appointments at Cincinnati Children's. Nathaniel was seen by four surgeons in the operating room this afternoon. As a side note, I really like it when doctors play well together and coordinate care; if handled differently, what was done today could have required four separate visits and four more handing overs to be sedated. Thank you Cincinnati Children's!

The Trachs on My Windowsill, Hospitalization, and Lemonade

I came home from the hospital last night and noticed the two trachesotomy tubes sitting on my windowsill.  Both, one from two weeks ago and one from Friday night, are waiting to be cleaned and sterilized. Seeing them reminded me of the first time my younger brother came to visit us after Nathaniel came home. We keep two trachs, one the same size and one smaller sealed in bags after sterilization, near Nathaniel's bed. At the time of Clint's visit, one of the tubes was stored in a bio-hazard bag; it had probably last been sterilized at the hospital. Bio-hazard baggies are what the nurses use even though the item inside is going home intended to be reused. When talking about Nathaniel that night with my brother, I made a dismissive comment about the intensity of his care. "You have a bio-hazard bag hanging in your son's bedroom," Clint said with some strong emotion. "For crying out loud,  this is beyond medically complex. This is life and death."

Being Brave

I was driving home from grocery store the other night and started to sob. A chest heaving, can not catch your breath sort of sob. Nothing had happened that day or during the shopping trip that warranted tears. As I was leaving the store, Rich and I had exchanged texts. He and Peter were finishing up changing Nathaniel's tracheostomy ties and he was putting Nathaniel to bed. "Will you be home to say goodnight?" The last text from Rich that I read before the convulsive gasps gripped my torso like fingers grip a steering wheel when driving in a torrential rain.